Ground rules: It is the ghost with the most versus Superman’s mischievous imp versus Captain Picard’s tormentor of the Q Continuum versus Major Nelson’s personal genie. Each of these characters have the potential to overcome any obstacle in their way, except a being as powerful as themselves. The battle will begin with each character having basic knowledge of each other’s power level.

Personal bias: I watched I Dream of Jeannie as a child, and I liked the show until I outgrew it. The bickering between her and Major Nelson became too much for me. It was also far too unbelievable. I could never see how they could have so many problems when she could fix everything so effortlessly. The movie Beetlejuice actually scared me at first, especially the séance scene. The character played the line between creepy and funny quite well. Of course, the nerd in me will always side with Mxy and Q as my picks of this bunch.

Fight! The only character not confident in their own power level in this fight is Jeannie, who will first attempt to find Major Nelson for guidance. She blinks and disappears. Q is generally disgusted with Beetlejuice’s appearance and turns him into a goat. Beetlejuice stays in goat form and slithers out a forked tongue a mile long that wraps tightly around Q. Q vanishes out of the trap.

Mxy uses his magic to command the ground to swallow up the goat. Q returns after convincing Jeannie that in defeating Mxy and Beetlejuice, she will be reunited with Nelson.

The goat bits its way back to the surface and grows ten stories tall. It’s tail whips Q and Jeannie out of the way as it stomps on Mxy. Mxy dies. Jennie blinks an enormous cage around the giant goat. Beetlejuice reclaims is normal form and escapes between the bars of the gate. Jeannie blinks and he is frozen in glass. Q, satisfied that Beetlejuice has been dispatched, turns on Jeannie. He tells her he will banish Nelson unless she gives up her powers. Jeannie pouts, then complies. Q makes Jeannie disappear.

Q’s victory is cut short as Beetlejuice turns the glass into sand and digs his way out. Mxy materializes between them, now knowing the secrets of the Netherworld. Mxy exclaims “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice” and sends him to the realm of the sandworms.

After watching how easily Mxy dealt with Beetlejuice, Q becomes worried. He is not used to dealing with anyone this powerful other than fellow Qs. The battle wages on with the more imaginative devices of victory coming from Mxy. They freeze time at one point so that the remainder of the battle takes place between two ticks of a second.Eventually, the doubt in Q’s mind settles and he comes to term with the idea that they may well fight to an eternal stale mate. The same thought occurs to Mxy. So, he asks me to write him in as the winner.

Results: Mr. Mxyzptlk wins by request. Beatlejuice’s power comes from being a ghost, so he is still bound to the Netherworld. Jeannie’s power comes from being a genie, so she is bound to her master in both love and genie code and must do what is best for him. Q’s power comes from the Q Continuum, which is still bound to the universe. Mxy’s power comes from magic, but more importantly, the 5th Dimension. His extra dimensional nature isn’t bound by the 4 Dimensional universe. This allows him to bypass taking part in the story and interact directly with the writer. So he won.